The Power Of Your Words Has A Lasting Impact. Think First. Choose Wisely!

“No matter what anybody tells you, words and ideas can change the world.” John Keating

Even after so much time has passed, the feeling of being cut to the bone with the precision of the most skilled surgeon, remains with me. "You have no idea of the power of your words, do you?" Because of the intentions of that question, this pain is actually a good thing because it keeps me focused on sharing a positive testimonial.

This question was presented to me in a direct manner by someone I respected and admired. The presenter was supportive of my struggle to stop being codependent, but had finally reached the point where some hard truth was necessary.

I was trapped in my self-imposed victim mentality where my plight was not in any way my own making, but rather the result of an unfair world that placed me with needy people who sapped all my resources and energy. Or so I had convinced myself.

It couldn't be my fault when I lashed out with vicious diatribes toward anyone even suggesting that I needed to look first in the mirror. "They don't know what I face everyday." And I didn't recognize the power of the words I was unleashing, and the lasting effects of negative rants.

Words can empower, enlighten, inspire, and uplift. Words can also inflame, incite, dishearten, or damage. I learned that day that the direction my words took depended on intentions or laziness. And that life lesson helps daily in this new venture that uses words, this time in printed form, to empower, enlighten, inspire, and uplift. In an upcoming page, we will list examples of power words, including words of wisdom, words of affirmation, and words that are meant to cause pain.

In this page I'll give you three simple steps to help you with both intentions and laziness. You've probably heard them before, but they're worth repeating. The power of your words, lies not just in the words themselves, but also in the force used to deliver them, your attitude in delivering them, and the motivation behind your words.

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Intentions and Laziness

This is probably the best spot to begin. Do we give any thought to what we say before we say it? Maybe so. But maybe not. My friend gave plenty of thought before asking me, "Do you have any idea of the power of your words." Stopping to think first about content and delivery allowed the message to sink in. Not without some pain that comes with the realization that I was the problem. Not everyone else.

If the intention is to help, to support, or to empower, then we should stop and think first. What is the most important point? Are we conveying it in a manner that avoids the perception of condemnation or in a condescending manner? Are we being careful to not incite emotion to the point where honest communication breaks down? There is a huge difference between what we should say and what we might want to say. Think before we speak. Or in this case, write.

Intention is a double-edged sword. If the goal is to tear down, to inflame emotions, and to sow seeds of mistrust and division, then the power of words is on full display. Words carry a lasting impact. The message is not easily forgotten if emotions are raw and pain has been inflicted. Those who use the power of their words to deceive or manipulate have given plenty of thought to their intentions. They know why they are saying what they say. But they ignore the most important of the three questions about the power of your words, which will be described in the next section.

As for laziness, that is easier to fix. A clap back reaction to someone's statements with no regard for accuracy, and no thought as to the ensuing reactions is just laziness. Repeating rumors without verifying accuracy is taking the easy way out. There is no intention to cause harm, but there is also no intention to improve the situation. Just a sort of reflex reaction because it is easier than following these next three important steps.

The Test of the Power of Your Words

Is is true? Is it necessary? Is it kind? Those three questions will determine if the power of your words is used for good or for harm. Taking the time to ask them moves us past any laziness.

My friend knew the message was true. There was no doubt. Deep down, I knew it, but it was easier to blame everyone else. My own version of a handout mentality. Give me something for free that I never earned or rarely even attempted.

It was certainly necessary. I wasn't doing enough to help myself. It was time for me to get over it and get better. For me, it was a launching point to both.

Is it kind? I suppose some people reading this could suggest that maybe it wasn't so kind. but sometimes straight-up truth is the best form of kindness. I'd lied to myself enough and had plenty of people tell me it wasn't my fault.

The people who use the power of their words to cause harm have no concern about truth. Truth just gets in the way of a good story. Their intentions are to tear people down, to spread false information and to gain power.

Using the power of words to inflame and incite is necessary for their selfish agendas. And since they don't care about being truthful, being kind is not even on their radar.

Try These Things

The power of your words can build or destroy. Think before you speak. Make sure that what you will say is the truth. Be clear on what you want to get across and be aware of how you will deliver your words. You are looking for a calm conversation, not a shouting match.

Deliver your message in such a way as to build trust with the other person. Trust that you are telling the truth. Trust that you really want to help them with no thought of your own reward. Trust that they can rely on you when they need help.

Keep your word. If you say you will do something, do it. If you say you will be there, be there. The power of your words will be amplified when you follow up with positive actions.

I'm trying to use the lesson from my own experience, shared with you in this page to earn the trust of our readers so they know that in our editorial room, we ask first off, is it true? Then we move to, is it necessary and is it kind?

Sometimes speaking the truth is necessary, but maybe not completely kind. At least in the short term. But in the long run, with some careful thought before speaking, with a compassionate delivery, necessary truth will be the best form of kindness. I know this to be true from personal experience.

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