Is being accountable for your actions even a thing anymore? Has it dissolved into folk legend or just something from "the good old days?" Lets insert some other personal pronouns and think in terms of "we" and "our." Because holding each other accountable always starts with the image in our mirrors.
And while it indeed may be part of those good old days, personal accountability is still very much a thing. In fact it is "the" thing. Much like the old quote attributed to several authors, "Example isn't everything. It is the only thing."
Webster's dictionary defines accountability as "an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one's actions." In a future page we'll go over the difference between responsibility and accountability. There is a difference, but the two traits do interact.
For this page, we'll start with the how and go into the why. You'll read references to both how and why throughout because when we know the why, we figure out the how. And we'll offer some benefits. All win/win opportunities offer something good for everyone.
Lets get right into being accountable for your actions. And for our actions. We're starting with the person in the mirror and then we're building out to help lift everyone up.
Being accountable is when:
* We don't blame other people when we are at fault. We also don't look to trap people in mistakes. If you haven't read the section on our home page about crab mentality, please check it out.
* We don't make excuses. "It isn't my fault. The sun was in my eyes. I'm a victim of my environment. I didn't get a fair chance. The devil made me do it." Any excuse will work when looking for an easy way out of being accountable for your actions.
* We take responsibility for our part in every situation. We recognize that what is going on in our own world, in our relationships, and in all of life are the direct results of our beliefs and actions. Change our beliefs and we can change our actions. If we aren't happy with a situation, we can either change the situation or change our beliefs in that situation.
* "How are we part of the problem?" If we all asked that simple question more often, we would solve so many problems. And then follow up with, "How can I be part of the solution?"
* Recognize "Toxicity" signs. Especially within ourselves because if we have them, we will certainly spread them. In this link you can read a great column about these traits that drive people away and are the antithesis of being accountable for your actions. We touch on them in this section and the author goes into more detail.
* We offer sincere apologies when we hurt someone. This is so important but so overlooked. And it goes together with the next bullet point. When we cause harm, tell the person you are sorry and do so in an accountable manner. When we say something like, "I'm really sorry, but I was having a bad day" or "You don't understand but I was under lots of stress," we've already wasted the opportunity to be sincere and to be part of the solution.
* Listen better. So much could be solved, so many challenges rectified with simply listening better. When angry shouting goes away, when decibel levels lower, stress and anxiety go down as well. Be accountable for your own actions in confrontational situations. Someone has to be the example and as always it starts with the person we see in the mirror. We'll be posting pages about becoming better listeners and also about understanding the four different personality types.
* Get over it. Yeah, I know. Life isn't fair. We don't all get the same amount of good breaks. Quit looking for a hand out and instead, get better and offer a hand up to lift someone who can then lift someone else. If you've been hurt, and almost everyone has been hurt at least a dozen times in life, let it go and move on past the hurt. Someone once wrote, "Wounded people wound people."
* If we start it, finish it. Such a basic concept, but we all face this obstacle at some point. It gets tougher than we thought, we lose confidence or maybe lose sight of why we started something.
Just below is a short, animated video that encapsulates part of our message about becoming accountable.
That's a fair question. Doing the right things for the right reasons are always rewarding. But it's not a bad thing to look for how it will help us when we are accountable for our actions.
* We'll feel better and we'll be healthier. Stress goes down when we become great listeners and thereby, great problem-solvers. Lower stress means better health.
* Relationships at every level will improve. Following the message of the previous block to learn how to sincerely apologize, to listen better, and to not react negatively to every rough spot will improve all relationships.
* We'll be more trustworthy because we are accountable for our words, our beliefs, and our actions. You might not believe this one, but I have the scars from a time where I abdicated responsibility in an important area of my life. You will be more organized, you will manage time so much better and your success level will go up exponentially.
* You'll be a happier person. People will gravitate toward you.
Here are some simple things you can do right now as you work on being more accountable for your actions.
* Be honest. Follow your instinct or your "gut feeling." You know when something is wrong, even if no one is watching. Do the right thing everytime, especially when no one is expecting it.
* Ask for help. Even the Lone Ranger had Tonto. (Younger readers will have to look up that reference.) Ask people who have succeeded in what you want to do. They will usually be happy to help.
* Use your time wisely. Apologies to all those list-haters, but lists do work. Write it down and then follow through on the work.
*Be humble and apologize sincerely when you make a mistake. Then get better.
It's easy to point fingers at the elected officials, position holders and managers who violate the bullet points on this page everyday.
Being accountable does mean calling them out on their dishonesty and their total lack of integrity. Political party loyalty that dismisses bad acts not only ensures such lack of accountability will continue in those spots, but also places a big part of the responsibility squarely on us. Remember the part about following our gut instinct?
We'll get into holding positions accountable in future pages. Today we're starting at the best starting point to bring about positive change. We're looking in the mirror.
Be honest and transparent. People should know our intentions by our actions. We do things with the intent of being accountable for our actions because we seek to lift other people up, not to tear them down.
"Accountability is the cornerstone of personal and professional success. It is the ability to take responsibility for our actions, decisions, and behaviors, and to accept the consequences that come with them. The power of accountability lies in its ability to help us achieve our goals, build better relationships, and become more successful in our personal and professional lives." Solutional Writers