You Didn't Miss The Mark, But You Needed More Context

by Steve
(United States)

(Editor's note: We received this note concerning our page about words of affirmation. The link to that page is at the bottom of this letter and our short reply.)

This is a second writing of what I had in mind. Before sending the first draft, I re-read it and also read your page about words of affirmation again. I had some strong words in that first draft. As the parent of a child who deals with anorexia, my initial reaction was that you had oversimplified a complex issue.

But after a few minutes to cool down, I had some second thoughts. I realized that unlike my first reaction, you weren't claiming to solve eating disorders forever by assigning someone a task to take their mind off the disorder. Upon a second reading, it was apparent that your intention was to do something in that particular moment to help a young person feel better about themselves.

Your contact page told us to let you know if we think you missed the mark on a subject. I don't think you missed the mark, but maybe a little more follow up about your technique of putting young people in situations to succeed was one step in the process, with more needed, would have helped?

Having written that, I will state your idea does have merit and as parents of someone who faces this health situation daily, we appreciate that you pay attention to signs and try to help. That doesn't always happen in school or in group settings.

My wife reminded me that what you wrote about timing is also accurate. We've had well-meaning relatives and close friends tell our high school student to just "snap out of it" as if the solution was that easy. We've also heard things like "You are a smart person. You can do this."

Overall, I have that suggestion that a little more context might have helped if anyone else jumped to that first conclusion as I did. If they read that part twice, they probably also understood where you were coming from.

We do thank you for bringing this issue to light. And we appreciate your willingness to share your own past failures. Most of all, we thank you for trying to help kids who deal with this in every part of every day. We can certainly use more leaders coming from our teenagers. Your website is helping with that.

(Editor's note: Thanks to Steve for his message. I agree that we didn't do our best in explaining the situation he refers to and we will do better. We offer our apologies. The link to that page is just below. We welcome any other comments.)

>Words Of Affirmation

Something to Think About

"People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily."

Zig Ziglar