What Is Your Purpose? Our Editorial Team Came Together With This Question.

Part one in a three-part series about living a life of passionate purpose 

We're sharing some deeper first person background information in this page. We'll use our roundtable version again to tell a little more about the editors while also leading you to consider, what is your purpose?

We'll go against some best SEO practices to change color in the paragraphs to differentiate the authors.

What Was the Author's Purpose

Nothing had changed. Nothing ever changed on this walk to the community center. Well, sometimes that annoying bunch of high school kids were out on the sidewalk in front of that shelter. They were handing out coats or walking around with cups of coffee to give to the lineup of homeless people waiting for their daily meal.

I had to step out on to the street to get around them as they blocked the concrete path to my weekly meeting. I wasn't interested in the plight of those people. I wondered why the guy who seemed to be overseeing this far too energetic team of people didn't move them out of the way? What was the purpose of the group?

I wasn't even interested in going into that community center, but it was what I was supposed to do. It seemed like most of the past five years were all about me doing what I was supposed to do even if I didn't want to do it.

I had waited until later in life to get married. When it finally happened everything seemed great. We had a shared vision of what we wanted. Life was good. For about a year.

Then the nightly conversations became repetitive. "I'm bored in my job. I think I want a new career in sales." As the supportive spouse I was supposed to be, I listed attentively, but to myself wondered, how could this work? Sales requires an outgoing personality, determination, and patience, three things I was learning my spouse lacked. Outgoing, yes if things were going exactly as desired. Any roadblocks changed everything.

But since I was supposed to do it, I poured money into this new venture. As it struggled to gain any traction, things got worse. I thought I could fix the problems. Then I was blamed for not fixing them well enough, followed by me reversing the blame since I knew the idea was doomed from the start. Then I blamed myself. In the end, everything dissolved except for the mountain of debt that I got to keep. And even then, after it officially ended, I still got pulled back in or put myself back in trying to fix things.

All of this led me to these weekly meetings that were supposed to help. Inside the small meeting room was a sign that read "You aren't crazy. You're codependent." I could relate to that one, but the sign next to the coffee pot just ticked me off every week. "Happiness is a choice!" That was false because who chooses to be unhappy?

I had a headache as I was walking. It wasn't an uncommon headache. And it was self-inflicted, so I didn't have any excuse for it. This had become my routine. Go out every night looking for a good time and usually finding it, then recover and go off to work. I was good at my job. I didn't really feel all the fulfilled with it. It seemed like I was being held back and only allowed to use about a third of my creativity. But it paid well. Was fulfillment all that necessary anyway?

I was always the life of the party and loved to meet new people. But suddenly it dawned on me that my twentysomething years had slipped past and led me to the next decade. It didn't take long to also realize that my alcohol intake wasn't going down, but my recovery time was getting worse. And then I looked at my life and wondered where my purpose was and if this was all I had to look forward to as the inevitable forties and fifties approached? I looked in the mirror and asked the reflection, "What is your purpose in life?

I had to change if anything was going to change. So I tagged along with an old drinking buddy to the community center where they held various meetings, including AA. To get there we had to walk past a homeless shelter. On certain days there were these amazing young people out there giving away warm clothes, standing and talking with the people in line and showing more purpose in those few minutes it took me walk past than I was showing in my life to date.

I walked up to the person who was kind of directing them and asked if I could donate. Money wasn't a big issue for me and this was a minimal effort. It was always a boost to see them out there. I wondered how much different my life would have been with better choices when I was that age?

This servant leadership group came about from some things I learned long ago. I didn't learn them out of any deep commitment to knowledge. It all began because learning certain leadership skills was the prerequisite to getting specific instruction from an expert.

And over time, the lessons transferred to other areas, including this idea of a student-led team that would go out and serve those in need. I had other ideas as well, but just didn't have the creative flair to put the ideas into reality and I had this big habit of writing down excellent goals and then finding nearly any excuse to delay getting after them.

Since I wasn't the person who would go up and extend a hand to someone I didn't know, the odds of finding people outside my own circle of acquaintances was pretty low. I felt like I knew my purpose in life, but still needed some key members to help it take off.

As these meetings went on, I wondered when something of value to me would show up. It didn't happen in the meeting, but finally it happened one day on the way into the center. ( As a side note, the meetings were fine. My attitude was rotten. If you are in this type of situation, don't miss meetings. They are important.) 

I mentioned to a person who was going to the same room that I detested that sign reading "Happiness is a choice." The response given to me kind of knocked me backward. "So what are you doing about it, other than complaining?" This guy was one of those glass half full types who was always offering encouragement.

On this day the high school people were out in force with warm drinks and food for the homeless. When I asked what I was supposed to do about it, he pointed to them and said, "They look pretty happy. Why don't you go help them?" I didn't have any intention of doing that and told him so. He smiled and replied, "I guess happiness really is a choice, isn't it?"

I didn't have any answer. But I did wonder how things were going to change if I didn't change anything. My choices had become habits and those habits were controlling me. This couldn't be my purpose in life? I must have something of value to offer.

Someone shared their story at a meeting and talked about purpose in life. She shared that her life had to be about more than just hours in bars and going through the motions of life. That was where my own thoughts were taking me, so her story impacted me.

Was I using even a quarter of my individual talents? How was I making things even a little bit better for someone else? I thought about that line outside the homeless shelter and that young team standing out there with them.

What Is Your Purpose?

By now, you've realized where this story is going and how a motley bunch became part of the editorial team on this website. Sometimes we find our purpose and sometimes our purpose finds us.

Since it was never going to initiate with me, it took our very outgoing member to stick out a hand in introduction and offer those creative talents. Not long after, our editor who wrote the inspiring story of overcoming codependence asked some questions which led to more questions and finally a decision to jump in with us.

You'll recognize some of the subjects from past pages. Habits, codependence, learning new skills, all of which are in our page directory.

Lives driven by a purpose are fulfilled lives. Part of our goal is to inspire you to look for that purpose. It might take a while to find it. It took us a long time. If we can find it, all of you surely can too!

This is part one in a series. This page tells you how we answered the big question, "What is your purpose?"  Part two will help you find your own purpose. And in part three we give you a little more insight in the potential of a purpose-driven group, determined to leave things better than they found them. 

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